


To Dread and to War

by Lady_Paper_Writerson



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks, Mystery, Non-Canon Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-17 01:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15450561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Paper_Writerson/pseuds/Lady_Paper_Writerson
Summary: While taking down another outpost of the Saviors, our heroes come across a woman that Daryl seems to know quite well, and the Saviors seem willing to protect with their lives.Takes place right after the premiere of season 8. No TV series canon after this point. Multiple TWD characters. Multi-chapter. Tags to be added as the story flows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Again: the story takes place right after the premiere of season 8. After that, NO TV series canon.
> 
> WARNING: later on, the story will include much and explicit sexual content, strong language etc. Read at your own choice.
> 
> Please review!!! Your opinions, questions and ideas are always welcome!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks! Now, let's get to it!

    It felt like the outpost had simply sprouted there, in the middle of that barren hill, like a lonely tree.

Rick gazed at it, narrowing his eyes. According to Dwight, it should be easy to bring down. Simple fence, only four vehicles, as they could see. Possibly twenty people inside -at most. It really seemed suspiciously innocent… suspiciously easy.

He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had learned to always assume the worst-case scenario. Nevertheless, Dwight had been proven true to his word so far, helping them tremendously in all of this -even though he still didn’t trust him enough to say such a thing in front of him.

He glanced at Aaron, thirty feet away from him, hiding behind an old, broken car. He motioned to the fence. Aaron nodded in agreement and raised his gun, prepared for anything that was to come up.

“Daryl, are you guys on spot?” he spoke quietly to the radio in his free hand.

_“Yep. Waiting for your call”_

“This is it. You’re on. In 3… 2… 1”

Remaining safely enough behind the car, he stood and opened fire. As soon as he did so, Aaron did the same. The others followed as well. They watched the windows shatter, and soon after people on the inside started to fire back at them. He shot a few more times and then bent down and nodded for Aaron to do the same. Very soon, the only ones firing were the Saviors. Those started to fade out as well, and he could vaguely hear people yelling and screaming. More gunfire -much more- but this time on the inside of the building. And then silence.

He waited for a few seconds before he raised the radio again:

“Daryl, everything done?”

No answer. He waited a few seconds. Aaron and the others looking at him, waiting. Agony. Something went wrong?

“Daryl?” he asked again, nervously this time.

Nothing.

He turned and looked at the building, almost holding his breath. He could see some movement behind the broken glass. He heard a voice raising above the others, but he couldn’t understand to whom it belonged to. He was preparing to speak again, when he heard Daryl’s voice:

_“We’re done. They’re down. Come on in”_

He closed his eyes in relief. He stood up and waved for the others to follow him, guns still in their hands. No injuries, as far as he could see.

“Let’s go”, he shouted.

Dwight was right this time as well. This was ridiculously easy.

This secluded keep acted as a warehouse for the Saviors. They stored medical supplies and consumables, both regular and rare. This would definitely be a hit they wouldn’t expect, since very few people knew about this place, and they believed that their first priority would be killing as many of them as possible. It was Ezekiel’s idea to start depriving them from vital supplies. In a war, loosing such things is a major loss. It was a damn good suggestion, one that Rick gladly embraced.

Their plan wasn’t complicated: divided in two groups, his own on the outside, attacking the settlement, while the second sneaked in through the garage, to which Dwight had provided them with the keys. While they were terrified, trying to fight his own group, Daryl’s would take them by surprise.

He kicked the door and walked in, realizing this was yet another fine success. Daryl, Erik and the others standing, pointing their guns to the people in front of them, who were on their knees. There were ten of them, and he quickly counted about four dead ones near the windows. Much less than he had expected.

He casually put his rifle on the floor and came to stand right in front of them, hands resting on his waist.

“I believe you know who I am by now”, he said. “Who we all are. I, for one, don’t recall having ever seen anyone of you before. Now… is there someone amongst you managing this place?”

A girl on his right pointed her head towards the nearest window. Lying on the floor in front of it, there was the figure of a man, half his face completely gone, his blood and brains spread on the floor. He casually raised his shoulders.

“Well… is there anyone that would like to speak for all of you?”

He watched them. They all looked upon the same girl. She didn’t seem particularly fond of that. Nevertheless, she stood up, crossing her hands, looking oddly proud and fierce, despite her current situation. Not arrogant or sarcastic, like most of the Saviors he had met, but serious, and dignified in her defeat, looking like she fully understood the situation she was into, and preparing herself for whatever was about to come. This impressed him a little.

“Your name is?” he asked.

She said nothing for a few seconds, looking at him with a blank expression. Then her eyes moved and settled on Daryl.

“Ask him. He would know” she said dryly.

He glanced at him, baffled, and realized in surprise that he had gone pale as hell. He was clenching his teeth, his fingers moving slightly nervously on the crossbow.

“Joy”, the girl finally said.

He turned at her again, deciding he was going to discuss this later.

“How old are you, Joy?” he asked her. “You look young”

She rolled her eyes on the ceiling, clearly letting him know she wouldn’t be into whatever bullshit he was about to say.

“Twenty-eight”

“Well… here’s how things are: you can live another twenty-eight years -and more, for that matter- if you play your cards right. Or say your goodbyes to this world right now. It’s completely up to you”

“Completely up to me, is it? You’re the ones holding the guns”

“You can hold a gun again as well. As long as it’s not against us”

She didn’t think for more than a second, a faint, unhappy smile rising on her lips.

“I think I’ll pass, Rick. I cannot speak for the rest of my company, though. Guys, anyone willing to hold a gun… not against Rick?”

The sarcasm was smart enough to make him smile a little bit. It vaguely reminded him of someone else. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke. Somebody chuckled. A woman beside her spat on the floor, right in front of him.

“Well… it looks like you’re going to have to spend some more bullets, Rick”

“We wish we didn’t have to”

“I don’t believe that for a second”

She spoke calmly, not raising her voice one bit, not showing fear. Brave girl, he thought. It really didn’t please him, the fact that he had to do that.

“I prefer standing, if you don’t mind” she said calmly.

“Hey” he heard Daryl’s voice.

He turned and looked at him. He still had that weird look on his face. Not fear, nor concern. He really couldn’t say. He walked with him to the door, away from the others.

“Don’t”

“Don’t what?!”

“Kill her. Don’t”

“Who the hell is she, Daryl? Where do you know her from, the Sanctuary?”

“No. Never saw her there”

“Where, then?”

Daryl’s eyes set on the horizon, and it seemed like he simply didn’t want to meet his own look.

“We could just…”

“What, let her go back to Negan? That’s what she’s going to do”

He sighed, and lowered his voice even more.

“Look, if you can just tell me why, then maybe…”

His sentence was abruptly cut off by the sound of a scream. They instantly turned to the others, raising their gun and crossbow, only to see a muscular man -one of their prisoners-having managed to tackle one of their own on the floor. As three guns instantly fired at the Savior, Sheldon was used as a human shield, and took all three of them. Next thing they knew, the girl, Joy, had reached to her left boot and had drawn out a knife, with which she -admirably swiftly- slashed on Kelly’s calf, causing her to scream and fall on her knees. She instantly grabbed on her gun, as the rest of the Saviors also rushed on a fight they knew they wouldn’t win -two of them went down instantly.

“Joy, get out of here!” roared the woman that had spat on him earlier. “Run, now! RUN!”

It seemed like she hesitated for a moment, but the door was clear now. She wouldn’t get another chance like that. She ran towards it. Rick couldn’t get a clear shot. He shot at her twice, and twice he failed. Daryl also aimed, but never took the shot. As if his fingers had frozen upon the crossbow.

“Don’t let her get away! Go!” Rick screamed at him before he pointed his gun on the muscular Savior, shooting him down.

 

* * *

 

 

He ran behind her. Not much unlike the first -and last- time he had done this, so long ago.

It still felt so unreal. He almost felt nauseated, and certainly lost. Lost in every way possible. Was it real? Was this really happening? Or was she a ghost from the past?

No. No ghosts here, in this world. She was alive. Alive. Somehow, she had survived as the world ended, coming back to haunt him. And now he had to put her down.

He saw her in the nighttime darkness, heading towards the fence. For a second there, he thought she briefly looked back. He wasn’t wrong. She shot at him, twice. One of bullets actually came dangerously close. Heard whistle as it passed next to his ear. Could she see it was him? Probably not, or she would have shoot him again. And again. And again.

It wasn’t a choice: he had to do this. He couldn’t let her go. He _shouldn’t_.

Yet… something inside him desperately wanted to let her go. Give her the time to get away. When he raised his crossbow, he aimed to bring her down -not to kill. But even so, somewhere deep inside, he wished he missed.

He didn’t.

Her yell when the arrow hit her kicked him in the guts. She fell on the ground, and for some gruesome moments, his heart sank, until he realized she was still moving. The scream that followed let him know that she had probably pulled the arrow out. She was soon back on her feet, racing -considerably slower- for the fence. It was too late when she turned back to look. He had already reached her. She raised the gun in her hand, but he was fast enough. He grabbed on her wrist and the physical fight started. She put on quite a resistance, especially for someone that had been injured, but she was no match for him on this context.

“Drop it!” he shouted trying to make her drop the loaded gun. “Drop it now, or…”

She kicked him on his leg, in a final try to escape. It hurt unexpectedly much. Enough to make him kneel, but not enough to let go. Grabbing her jacket, he managed to pull her on the ground as well, and towards him. He grabbed on her wrists to restrain her as she kept fighting him defiantly, but far more weakly now.

“That’s enough, quit it!” he shouted at her. “STOP IT!”

He held both of her wrists in one hand, pinning them on her side on the ground, when she suddenly groaned in pain, and he felt her collapsing completely, almost giving up. His eyes fell upon the side of her jacked which was ripped, blood pouring from inside of it.

“Joy! Joy, listen to me! LISTEN! You’re losing blood, stop fighting! It’s done. It’s done”

She curled up in fetal position, breathing heavily and trembling, remaining silent, denying him even a single look. Something broke inside him, seeing her like this. His free hand awkwardly moved to stroke her hair in an impulse. Hurting her physically was probably the only way he had never hurt her before.

Yes. It was done. This had ended… a long time ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is in great dilemma. They still want to get rid off as many Saviors as possible, but this time, maybe, just maybe, the unexpectedly got a highly important card in their hands... but can they actually use it? Or is it too dangerous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you're all well! Thanks for your support, it means a lot! Always looking forward to read your reviews, speculations and suggestions!
> 
> Now... let's see what our group can learn for this girl Savior... by another Savior!
> 
> Enjoy!

Carol and Daryl talked quietly, while Rick sat by the window, starring at the people that kept moving around. Kingdom never seemed to rest these days, even at night time. And this is how everything was supposed to be during a war.

He’d prefer it if they headed instantly back home -Carl had been left in charge longer than he initially intended to- but Kingdom was the closest place with a doctor, and more than three people had been injured during the fight with the Saviors. Including their new, enigmatic prisoner.

The doctor finally came out, after what it seemed like hours.

“How’s everyone?” Rick asked.

“No need to worry. Kelly won’t be walking properly for about a month or so, but everyone else is fine. Just minor injuries, a few stitches here and there, that’s all”

“Her?” Daryl asked sharply.

“She’ll be alright. She’s lost a great deal of blood, but you didn’t hit any vitals”

“Has she been a problem?” Rick asked.

“Oh no,  she’s cooperative. Doesn’t say much to begin with”

As soon as she left the room, he turned to Daryl.

“Care to finally talk now? Where do you know her from?”

Daryl casted a simple look on him, but stayed silent.

“Come on now” Carol encouraged him. “It’s us”

He put his crossbow on the table beside him and took a breath.

“Joy Farrow. That’s her full name. I knew her from before. And… anyway. Even before… I hadn’t seen her for years”

“You knew her… like… you know—” Carol interrupted.

“Yeah, like that”

They both turned to her, as a small giggle escaped her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, she apologized immediately. “It’s just… I cannot imagine that”

“Like what?” Rick raised his eyebrows with a slight smirk “It was… serious?”

“What did you think, would he ask you not to kill her if she was just a random one? Wouldn’t he kill her himself?”

“I’m still in the room” Daryl growled.

“Soooo?” Carol purred. “What happened? You had a big fight? Her parents didn’t like you? Did you cheat on her?”

Daryl gave her a poisonous, serious look, making her stop.

“It doesn’t matter”, he said firmly. “And I don’t know how she ended up working for this prick, but what I do know is… she’s good, alright?”

“I don’t know, Daryl” Rick shook his head. “Look at as, look at literally everyone we know. None of us is the same as before all this. Look what happened with Morales. Nothing is the same anymore. We all changed. Completely. She might not be the same as you knew her to be”

They were interrupted as the door slammed open and Jesus came inside, followed by a breathless Dwight.

“Is… she… alive?” he screamed at them as soon as he found his breath.

“How the hell did you…”

 “Rick” Jesus interrupted with a stiff look on his face. “It doesn’t matter. You need to listen to him”

Dwight straightened his back and took a few deep breaths. It was as if he had run in a marathon.

“Say you didn’t kill her, please”

“She’s alive. Just injured” Rick answered him. “What the hell is going on?”

“Listen, she… she wasn’t supposed to be there tonight”

“What the hell is that supposed to…”

“That was not her base, she’s head of another outpost. She was there to resupply… Dammit, damn this is bullshit…”

“Hey” Carol said. “And why is that a problem? Some more dead Saviors never hurt anyone, for sure”

“What is the deal with her?” Rick asked, understanding that this was what it was all about. “She your friend?”

Dwight sighed and closed his eyes momentarily.

“Not… exactly. Look, Joy is a sweeper. She’s head of the teams that clean up warehouses and outposts. She, along with a team, was the one that cleaned up the Sanctuary, and many other places as well. That’s her specialty. When there is no such need, she works as a scavenger. She’s a skillful one, I’ll give her that”

“Is that so” Rick said glancing momentarily at Daryl. “Well… looks like we hit the jack pot here”

“You hit more than that. And if you’re smart… you’ll let her go”

“Excuse me?” Carol laughed. “Why would we do that?”

“Because I don’t think you’d want Negan to find out that she’s here… or that she’s hurt. Honestly, I can’t tell what would he do. He… ugh… kinda has a thing for her… I guess one could say”

“No. No way” Daryl flinched instantly. “Look, I knew her. I… knew her. She’d never be with someone like that”

“How do you know?”

“I used to know her before” he repeated kind of annoyed he was forced to say it again.

Dwight raised his eyes slowly, looking at him.

“Well… I could have sworn the same thing for someone I knew as well”

He moved nervously, trying to pass the thought of Cheryl. Rick said nothing, thinking about it. Truth was, it seemed somewhat odd. The girl was pretty -that was one thing. Her long, wavy brown hair, full breasts, beautiful, almond shaped, light brown eyes. And she might have been polite, but also adamant, strong, decisive… and brave. Admirably honorable. A characteristic that had truly impressed him. He still remembered how she stood before him, not taunting, not pleading, not mocking. Disappointed, but magnificent at the same time, showing respect, even though she clearly didn’t like him. And she had this… this fierce vibe about her. Yes. Those things could certainly impress someone, as they apparently had done with Daryl in the past.

It wasn’t unlikely.

“Anyway, I’m telling you, I don’t even know if that’s accurate. I have no… undeniable clues. Never seen them too intimate with each other, not when I’m around at least. But there is certainly this… tension between them. I don’t know if I’d call it erotic, but he, you know… he’s a gentleman whenever she’s around, the way he never is otherwise. Telling you, you’d be surprised. He’s… truly gentle, if you can imagine that. She, on the other hand… never seems pleased with him. At first she lived at the Sanctuary. As far as I know, it was her choice to permanently leave the place. And him just letting her… it’s confusing. She comes around maybe twice a month, for business. They spent quite a lot of time alone, that’s for sure. They fight a lot too, though. You can hear them arguing. No idea what those fights are about”

Rick glanced at Daryl. He didn’t look pleased. In fact, he looked ready to explode in anger.

“And what do _you_ think of her?” Carol asked, breaking the tension.

“Ah, she’s mellow” Dwight casually raised his shoulders. “Just… melancholic. She’s not particularly close with anyone. Loves books, she always collects books, any place she goes. She’s well educated for sure, and fair with people. She never treats anyone like they’re inferior. She’s never hurt anyone either, as far as I know. She’s come at odds with many Saviors at times, regarding their cruelty, even defended some people in need… but still… inexplicably loyal”

“Sounds like her” Daryl muttered.

“Do what you will”, Dwight added, “but I don’t think she deserves to die, and… I honestly wouldn’t like that”

Rick and Carol exchanged a long stare, before they looked at Daryl. Rick knew very well that Daryl wouldn’t miss a shot, not at this distance, even in nighttime. He didn’t say anything. Just stayed silent, as always, waiting for his judgement, willing to go with it. But it was clear that he also wouldn’t like that. He wouldn’t like that at all.

Other than his son, Daryl was the person he trusted the most in that world.

“I think it’s time to have a chat with her” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take a moment to review! 'Till next time, have fun! :)


	3. Chapter 3

She was being held in a storage room. She was seated and one of her hands was handcuffed on a radiator, looking exhausted and really pale, but well, overall. She didn’t move when they walked in, but her clever eyes followed their every move. Rick noticed that. She straightened her back as they approached, as much as she could, and looked at the three of them -him, Carol and Aaron- calmly.

“What’s your relationship with Negan?” he asked straight forward.

She seemed to have expected that there wouldn’t be any prologues.

“He is my boss” she casually raised her shoulders. “Same as with all of us”.

“A little bird told me otherwise”

“Really” a spark shined in her eyes. “And what little bird would that be? Please, tell me more about it”

Not only did her eyes looked smart, but she was smart in general as he could see.

“You’re the sole survivor tonight, you realize that? All your people are dead. And it seems to me that the last ones died so that **_you_** could escape. At least that’s what they hoped for. This should mean something”

“I guess they liked me a lot” she said coldly.

“It’s no longer a world where people usually do that for anyone else but their loved ones”

“When did they ever do it for anyone else? Maybe I was their loved one”

“Or maybe they were afraid that if by some way they survived to go back to a certain someone, he wouldn’t be at all pleased with them”

She laughed a little, quietly, looking at he floor.

“Oh, boy. Who do you think I am, Rick? One of Negan’s wives?”

“Are you?”

“No, I’m not”

“How about his girlfriend? Mistress?”

She flinched at that and moved uncomfortably in her chair.

“Why would a man with so many wives require a mistress?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve always been a spartan about it. But if I had to guess, I’d say that… maybe this one is defiant. Unbowed. Maybe he doesn’t have anything to trick her into it. And maybe this is what drives him mad and makes him want her even more”

She found her self-control again, and a semi-ironic half-smile flowered on her lips. “You’d write a good soap opera, Rick, that’s for sure”

“So, it’s not true?”

She kept looking at him but didn’t answered that, as if she had never heard it.

“Say the word and this will stop” he said. “You’ll have a place among us if you actually want that. I hear that you’re a very skilled scavenger. We always need such people. There’s no need for you to…”

She started laughing, surprising him a little. “You think he’s forcing himself on me?”

He exchanged a look with Carol, who had remained silent during all of this. Once she stopped laughing, she took a deep breath and looked at him again.

“Rick”, she said steadily. “I don’t care if you believe it or not, but I… hate… watching people die. Especially now… now that there are so, so few of us left in this world. But that’s how it is. It’s our god-damn fucking nature to try and kill each other… instead of working together, accomplishing marvelous things. It could be the case for all of us as well, and right now, you have an opportunity to make it happen. Negotiate. I’m still alive, and basically well. He’ll appreciate that. Trade me with a truce. Ask for truce, say that you surrender, and he’ll say yes, Rick. Is your pride worth more than saving so many lives? Sure, he may bust one head or two… but that would be the end of it, instead of having to suffer seeing more of your people die. And I promise I’ll make sure things will be better for you than they used to be before”

“This can’t happen now” Carol spoke. “I don’t know if you’re in love with him or just fuck him, but whatever your relationship might be with him, you ought to know that no one -and I mean no one- ever survived us”

“No one ever survived him either”

“We did” Aaron said.

“So far”

“You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?”

“I don’t think so, Rick”

Rick approached her slowly, until he stood right above her.

“Then, since I’m not going to get anything for you, and since I don’t want a truce, you’re basically useless to me. You realize what this means?”

Joy smiled at him again, not with a single bit of hostility.

“What do you think you’ll gain by killing me?”

“Negan killed a whole lot people that I cared about. That _we_ cared about”

“Satisfaction, then. Revenge. Rick… I never touched any of your people. Are you really going to feel better about their deaths if you kill me right now? No. Only if you get him you’re going to feel better. But you won’t. You’re stuck with me, unfortunately for the both of us. And Negan won’t care about my dead body. He prefers it alive, I believe”

Recognizing the dead-end this conversation had reached at that point, he decided they needed to regroup and talk about it extensively. After all, he already had the basic information he had aimed to get. He was right, and Dwight was right. She wasn’t just anyone to Negan, and certainly not a random flirt either. Without saying anything further, he nodded to Carol and Aaron who followed him to the door.

“One last thing” he turned when he reached the exit. “What is his deal with Lucille?”

The girl loosened up and laid back on the chair, a blank expression in her face.

“Nothing. She’s just a baseball bat”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Are you sure that’s the way to go on this?”

Rick glanced at Carol and nodded. The walked together just outside the borders of Kingdom, where Dwight was waiting for them.

“Let’s try this for starters”

“So what do I do? Do I tell him something?” Dwight asked.

“What would he already know by now?”

“It’s been half a day. He knew there would be a transfer. The people of Joy’s outpost will have already informed him they never went back, so he’ll certainly he’s probably sent people there to see what happened. He’ll know you took the outpost, and that they didn’t find her body there”

“Good. Let him know she’s alive. Tell him you came across one of our vehicles, you hid, but you saw her inside. Tell him she looked fine. Something like that. When we meet again, you tell us what he’s planning to do”

“And then?”

“See how much more you can learn about her and Negan and whatever the hell’s going on between them”

“Nah, not a chance” he winced. “I’m telling you, whatever this is, neither him nor her won’t share”

“Then find a way” Rick spelled out, dangerously calm. “Ask some people, look around in his private rooms, I don’t know, give me something, anything. If she’s really a strong card, I want to know exactly on what level I can use her”

Dwight opened his mouth as if he was about to protest about it, but then gave up, realizing it was meaningless.

“I’ll see what I can get you, but don’t expect much on that part”

“Anything will be better than the nothing we got now” Carol said.

“Fine. When I have something I’ll get in touch”

“Not here though” Rick noted. “Alexandria, as usual. Now that she’s escaped danger, we’ll get back there”

“Understood”

Once he was out of their sight, Rick took a deep breath and sighed.

“You need to talk to Daryl. I think if he’s going to tell someone about it, this person would be you”

Carol looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I know”

There was a brief moment of conflict inside her, he could tell, and then she cracked:

“Seriously though, what do you think about all of this? Isn’t it so weird? Did he ever talk to _you_ about her?”

“Well, I’ll be honest with you, it’s not like we ever sat down and extensively talked about our hook-ups…”

“Oh, come on, are you kidding me? This girl clearly wasn’t just a hook-up! `The way he speaks of her is almost respectful! First he’s asking you not to kill her, then he doesn’t want to talk about it… and have you even seen him? Ever since we got into that outpost and she stood up and talked, he’s so shaken, Rick! Yeah, I guess he didn’t expect to randomly meet someone from before, but… don’t you get the feeling that if it was someone else he would have been way more… indifferent?”

"I believe so as well. That’s what I want to know. Because, no matter what she used to be back then… right now, she’s the enemy, and we might have to do something he won’t like”

Carol folded her hands over her chest, narrowing her eyes.

“He already made pretty clear he wouldn’t like to see her dead -Dwight said the same as well. What if he actually asks that we spare her? What then?”

Rick clenched his teeth tightly. “If her death is the only way, Daryl will understand. But… I’ll try not to let things get to that. After all, she might actually prove useful. We’ll see how it’ll go with Dwight”

He suddenly felt too tired, too overwhelmed by thoughts and plans and all of… this. It wasn’t a feeling unknown to him. In some way, it was always there. But sometimes, like this particular one, the whole thing became actually physical.

“Talk to him” he told her again “and then get some sleep. We all need that. We still have some time. We’ll solve this to Alexandria”

 

 

* * *

 

 

She found him in Shiva’s cage, which didn’t surprise her in the least. The tiger looked calm, resting right in front of him. Both of them silent, like buddies that are so comfortable with each other that silence is welcomed among them. Sometimes she thought they even looked alike, in some way.

“Hey”

He briefly glanced at her, but then his stare went back to Shiva. No words. Nothing at all.

Damn, this wouldn’t be easy.

“So we talked to her” she said, slowly approaching. “We didn’t get much of her… she’s smart. And a capable speaker. Very diplomatic”

She was standing beside him now, but it was as if she had never stepped in the room.

“Dwight left” she continued. “He’s about to inform Negan she’s alive. Rick believes that if she’s actually any valuable to him, we’ll get a word soon enough”.

Daryl simply let out a small growl. She kneeled beside him, looking at the tiger.

“Who’s she, Daryl?” she asked a few moments later.

“I told ya” he chuckled.

“Yes… but not really”

“I don’t wanna to talk about it”

“Hey, you do remember my husband, right? You think I wouldn’t understand a bad relationship or…”

Daryl abruptly turned his head to look at her, and Shiva let out a small roar to this unexpected flinch.

“The hell is that?” he hissed. “You’d think that I beat her or something?”

“Of course not, you idiot!” she exclaimed angrily. “I’m just saying that… whatever bad thing you’d mention and bad relationship you can think about, it wouldn’t be that shocking to me!”

Shiva looked calm again. She licked her whiskers and lowered her head a bit to Daryl’s direction. He raised his hand very close to her, his fingertips almost touching her fur.

“I might not have done this, but I wasn’t good to her, Carol”

The way he said it, so quietly, almost like a whisper that was fading to nothingness, made her see how deep this scar was. And what a scar it must have been. Quite deep, she imagined, if it still hurt that bad after so many years, after all that had happened. There was pain in there, so much, so obvious. He didn’t seem to have the strength or even the will to try and hide it.

“Look, Daryl… I don’t know what happened, but usually, when a relationship goes to shit, the blame is on both, not just the one. What’d you mean to tell me, that she was perfect and did everything right and you were the bad one?”

“Listen, I’d rather be alone right now” he told her.

She realized this wasn’t the right time to ask for more. She just nodded as she was standing up. She headed towards the door, but right there she stood hesitantly.

“Just so you know, though” she informed him, “she’s _also_ alone right now. Rick has gone to sleep, I think I’ll do the same. Just saying”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The heatwave was almost unbearable those days. The sun roasted everything. One sizzler following the next one, and each seemed to be worse. And the nights never cooled things up. Everything was silent. Not a soul around. No wind to caress their faces, make it easier to breathe. Everything was unbearably static. Not even a small leaf moving. As if the whole nature had just paused and waited… for something. If this went on for too long, there would have been a whole lot of problems, of all kinds. They had already started, actually. As he passed by a garden, he saw that several plants had already gone dry.

It was almost like that summer… when everything had, as Carol said, turned to shit.

His steps got him there almost unconsciously. He stood out of the storage room that was used right now as cell, playing with the key around his fingers.

An urge, so intense that almost burned his insides was drawing him inside, and a fear, so strong that made him want to run as far as a man could possibly get was pulling him away. Running, however, wouldn’t make this pain that was almost physical at this point to go away.

He unlocked the door with swift moves and got inside.


	4. Second-First Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Time to start unwraping the mysteries... and create a few more!
> 
>  
> 
> Please, take a moment to review!

He closed the door behind him and stood with his back against it.

She wasn't asleep. She was looking right at him. Not really surprised either. As if she was expecting him to show up sooner or later.

"I don't know what to say" he murmured.

"You can start with 'good evening', I guess" she smiled.

Daryl didn't smile. He couldn't. He felt overwhelmed. All his muscles had frozen for good. He simply looked at her, observing in the semi-darkness, devouring every little detail. She was just like he remembered her, only slightly different. And every small change he could detect made her look even more beautiful than he remembered.

And now here they were.

"You need some water, or-"

"They gave me a bottle"

She suddenly flinched as a small groan escaped her, and he noticed she was pressing one hand on her side, where the arrow had hit her. He almost ran to her before his mind stopped him from doing that. He instead crossed his arms over his chest and stood on his place.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, I'm just doing this sound because I'm so happy" she sneered. "Yeah, it hurts. Thanks for that, by the way"

"Y' shouldn't h've tried to escape"

"I'm sorry I tried to save my own life"

She ran her hand through her hair, taking a deep breath.

"Anyway… I suppose I should thank you for real. You could have hit something vital if you wanted to"

"Couldn't aim. It was dark"

"Daryl, I've seen you shooting a raccoon right in the head in almost pitch-black darkness"

Their eyes briefly met for a moment that seemed to be longer than usual.

"Merle didn't make it"

It wasn't a question -more of a conclusion. He instantly felt tensed, and it showed. No reference on Merle's name came easy on him, no matter how long ago was the last time he had seen his brother. When he was forced to end the thing he had become.

"I take it we'd seen him around, had he been alive" she explained seeing his expression. "You two were like peas and carrots, and he… wasn't the kind of person that would go unnoticed"

"Yeah, that's right. Ya know else kinda person he was? The kind 'a' person that would've sided with your people"

"Maybe. I mean, he was far too much of an idiot to lead, but Negan would certainly be amused by him"

He felt his nerves electrified, and she mush have realized that too due to the stare she received. To be fair, though, she seemed to have regretted her words immediately. She ran her hands over her face and sighed.

"I'm sorry" she apologized. "That was uncalled for"

"Like y' ever liked Merle" he retorted.

"It doesn't matter. He was your brother and you loved him. I know how much he meant to you"

"What about your folks? Your parents?"

She lowered her gaze and didn't give an answer. Something inside him kicked hard. The thought of her wandering all alone through all of this was ripping him apart.

"I was with Emma for a while" she said after a while. "Do you remember her?"

He did. He seemed to remember everything from that time. Emma was a pretty girl of thin and lean form, a round face, two big, dark brown eyes, a calm voice and long, tawny-colored hair. He remembered her pretty well.

 _***"_ _Talk to her? You wanna talk to her now, Daryl? Tell her what? After what she's been through, the best you can do for her, is get lost!"***_

"Yeah" he nodded. "She was with that guy…"

"Michael"

"Yeah"

"He was with us too, but… we lost each other in a facility we were hiding. It was in the beginning, and… Ι haven't seen any of them ever since"

It was rapid and abrupt, the way that everything came back to him. A stream of thoughts and memories he had buried so deep that sometimes it seemed like they never actually existed. As if those things had happened to someone else, or in a dream. But there he was now. And there she was, too. Alive and well.

Her. Alive.

And with the enemy.

He chuckled nervously before taking the crossbow off his back and putting it on the floor beside the door. He crossed the small room with a few strides, grabbed a chair, pulled it in front of her and sat on it. From the first moment he decided to get in there, he had no idea what exactly he was about to say. He was never good with words. And now that he was so close to her and their eyes were locked, it was even harder to him. He always lost it when those eyes looked on his own. Those hazel brown eyes, that sometimes looked brown like the warm rum they had that first night in that festival, and sometimes golden like honey.

He was struggling to gather up the things he wanted to say. To say her name out loud. He remembered once, years ago, when he was with Merle in some sleazy bar. There was one junkie girl there, who was continuously talking, for hours, about elves and magic and fairies. At some point during her endless babbling, she was talking about a man that fell in love with an illusion, and once he gave it a name, everything was gone for good, and he went mad.

"Joy, listen" he finally drawled. "I know I'm the last person ya'd wanna see alive through all of this…"

"Oh, come on" she soughed softly, in somewhat broken voice. "It's been years. The whole world fell apart ever since. I think we can get past that"

He wondered which one of them laughed harder inside to that lie.

"And after all" she added "I have more important things to think of right now. My life is hanging on a very thin string, I take it"

"Noone's gonna kill you.  _We_  don't do that. But ya need to help yourself to get outta this"

" _You_  don't do that? Really? Who started all of this, Daryl?"

"Oh, come on!" he snapped. "Are ya kidding me?"

"No, I'm quite serious. Did Negan start this? Because I'm under the impression that he didn't even know about you guys until you went nuts and attacked a base, starting the murder spree. And of what I've heard about that night, I take it that he was kind of fair to you guys"

"He was… what now?" he spelled in disbelief, feeling himself slowly flipping over the edge.

"Do you know how many of our people you killed the night you attacked? Thirty-four, Daryl. I hear he Lucille'd just two heads, so you should actually feel lucky that…"

He was on his feet and above her in an instant, hardly holding himself back from doing something he'd later regret. Anyone would be alerted, seeing him like that. But not Joy. Never Joy. She did not jump on her feet, she didn't flinch, didn't even look away. Her look stoically remained locked with his own.

She was never afraid of him.

"Did ya know one of those people who's head he turned to pulp had a wife? A pregnant wife that was there, watchin'?"

She slowly stood up herself, right in front of him, looking at him eerily calm.

"And when did you become so sensitive to pregnant women?"

The words hit harder than a lash, and the sting burned worse than any other he had ever received.

"Did  _you_  know" she spoke again after a while "that on that base you took that night were two small children with their father?"

"Bullshit, there were no children…"

"Yes, there were. Two little boys. You know, I was on the team that was sent there to see what happened. We never found their corpses. And if your people didn't see them either… that means they either ran away, or their father made them hide until you were gone. In any case… I went out looking, by myself. I got nothing. I still don't know what happened to them. And I probably never will"

She let out a small groan, shutting her eyes tightly, and fell back on her seat.

"Oh my God" she said in a slightly hoarse voice, hands clenching on her hair. "You and I… will never be able to have a painless conversation"

The truth in that sentence was hurtful as well. He wanted to get out away of there. Get as far away as possible. Run until his lungs couldn't bare it anymore, and never look back.

"Anyway" she huffed "it doesn't matter now"

"Goddammit" he growled as he bend down to look at her in the eye again. "Why the hell don't you help y'self? Give me something! Anything!"

"Like what?" she asked wearily, leaning a little bit to him. "Please spare me, I'm in pain here. What do you want me to say?"

"What's goin' on with you and Negan?"

"You know, you're all asking that as if you're expecting my answer to have changed. I said this before, I'm saying it again:  ** _he-is-my-boss._** That's it"

He was starting to get really annoyed by this. She couldn't really believe they were as stupid as to believe such a thing after all they had seen happening. Seeing him unsatisfied with the answer, she raised her hands in the air.

"Alright, fine. Guilty as charged. I fuck him. Hard. Are we cool now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

He pictured her with him in his mind, together, and it caused a long-forgotten kind of anger and despair to unexpectedly dig itself up, a demon from the hell all people store inside.

He felt furious.

"If not that, then what? Does he threaten you, you owe him something? You can tell me…"

"But I don't want to tell you!" she shouted. "It's nothing of your or anybody else's business! You're wasting your time here if you think…"

"Hell, I know you!" he yelled at her, interrupting.

For the first time she seemed somewhat shocked, losing her words as he snapped.

"I… know you, dammit" he repeated. "You'd never side with someone like him, in any way, you… you ain't like that! You don't want to tell the truth, fine! But don't bullshit me!"

Her effort to keep a straight face was vastly unsuccessful. A bitter-sweet smile rose on her lips.

"As I said… the world literally fell apart ever since we last saw each other. Everything changed. So maybe… I've changed too. As I think you have as well. You can just as well say that it's the first time we meet each other... again"

A moment of weakness made it impossible to restrain the sudden emotional impulse as he reached out to take her face in his hands.

"Joy…"

She leaned back immediately, avoiding it. Looking at him with cold, deadly eyes.

"I think you need to go now"

Once more, the realization that anything he'd say or do would be meaningless -now more than ever. It didn't hurt less.

"For what is worth" he said quietly "I'm glad you're alive"

She let out a small, pathetic laugh.

"Oh, Daryl. It really doesn't worth a damn thing"

 

 

* * *

 

****

**_April, 2010_ **

**_Atlanta_ **

_Absent minded as he was, his stare was set upon a girl, on a table by the window of Jake's Bar and Grill. She must have been in her early twenties and around five and a half feet, which was a decent height for a girl. Long, brown hair falling in light waves down her shoulders and her back. She was wearing black tights, black booties and a dark blue jazz styled dress with long sleeves and some kind of print on it. Lied on the table around her were what it seemed to be about a thousand books and various pieces of paper, along with an empty plate and a half-empty cup. She was feverishly writing something on a notebook of some kind. Due to her obvious hard thinking, her brows were knitted, which made her look kind of cute, actually._

_"Heyyy, cm' on, man, wake up, I'm talking to you. What'a ya lookin' at?"-_

_Merle looked at that direction and he let out an ironic, short laugh. "Naaah, not a chance, lil' bro. Don't even waste yo time on it"_

_"Wasn't going to" he answered._

_They were sitting on the bar, and he personally still felt quite good, but Merle and the rest of the gang they were hanging with that evening were already wasted as fuck on those beers._

_"Why not?" a guy Daryl thought his name was Tommy asked. "She's cute alright, but it's not like she's THAT hot or something…"_

_"No, no man, it's not that, it's that those college girls, no matter how they look, are aaaaaall snobish as fuck"_

_"How'd you even know she's a college girl?" another guy chuckled._

_"Oh come on, man, look at her, what other kind of gall that age's sitting at this time with all that papers 'round, that serious an' all?"_

_"Whatever man, why wouldn't he get her anyway? She's a woman, thay all want the same thing, and that is our thing between their legs" a third guy said._

_"Why yeah man, that's fo so, but college girls, you see, they won't take just anyone, you know, they think so high of themselves they all wan' the Prince of England or something"_

_"How'd you even know? You ever hooked up with a college girl, Merle?" Daryl asked sarcastically._

_"Well, for your information, I once hooked up with one who's half-sister was in college!"_

_"Wow, you're practically a pro" the possibly Tommy-guy mocked._

_"Wait, like what? You don't think I'd got her if I really wanted to?" Merle exclaimed angrily._

_"You think you'd get that young lady over there? Drunk as shit and with that shit-face of yours? You'd get a better chance with Angelina Jolie"_

_"Yeah, whatever, maybe I wouldn't, but my handsome bro here would most definitely handle that shit, right?" he hugged Daryl around the shoulders._

_"Dude, you're so wasted" Daryl cringed. "Two minutes ago you told me not to go"_

_"Yeah, I said don't go, I didn't say you wouldn't make it if you did"_

_"Let's spice this up! You wanna bet on it?" the Tommy-guy said, eyes glimmering. "Say, if Daryl makes it, like, if he makes it and they get out of here together, we'll give you one hundred bucks -each. Right now. You lose, you owe us four hundred. How 'bout that, fellas?"_

_Everyone on the company agreed upon it, quite vividly and enthusiastically. The barwoman, that was just then leaving another round of shots in front of them, shook her head and winced in disapproval before she turned elsewhere._

_"Wow, wow, slow down" Daryl said, annoyed. "When did I agree on…"_

_"It's on!" Merle almost screamed._

_"Hey!" Daryl exclaimed in anger. "I didn't say I'd do it, man!"_

_"Give us a second, boys"_

_Merle turned around towards his side and lowered his voice "What's your problem?"_

_"What's my problem? You're betting money none of us have right now, you idiot!"_

_"Well, then, do your job right, and we're winners! We get four huds out of nowhere, and you get to spend the night in a place tight and wet and warm, huuuuh?" he smirked._

_"Merle, come on, man…"_

_"Hey, you seriously won't do your bro this favor? They'd never do such a thing if they weren't drunk!"_

_"You're drunk too, Merle"_

_"Buuuut, y're not that drunk, so get over there, and rock that bitch's world right up!"_

_[*]_

_"I'm sorry, miss?"_

_The girl looked up and smiled on the barwoman that stood over her, looking quite uncomfortable._

_"Is something the matter?"_

_"Yes, you see, I… forgive me, but I think there is something you should know. See those guys on the bar over there? I just heard them talking, and… they were… betting on whether one of them can get you or not"_

_"I am so, so sorry, but you know, that's… awful, and I thought you should…"_

_"How much did they bet?"_

_The woman raised her eyebrows, looking surprised by both the question and her calmness._

_"Four hundred dollars" she reluctantly answered. "And they don't even have the money in case they lose, they're that sure"_

_"A-ha" she nodded. "And which one is coming?"_

_"Oh, uhhh… I think it's that one over there" she pointed carefully._

_"Did you hear a name?"_

_"Yes, it's Daryl"_

_The girl looked back at the company, silent, but with sparkling eyes. One could almost see her mind racing._

_"Thank you" she sighed a few moments later. "Thank you so much for letting me know. Not anyone would do such a good thing"_

_"Don't mention it" smiled the woman kindly. "And listen, sweetheart, don't mind those idiots. People like that are everywhere around. If we can protect each other from them, we ought to do it"_

_[*]_

_He walked to her table once he saw the barwoman going away, trying to convince himself that this wasn't a bad idea after all, when the girl suddenly looked up at him and smiled._

_"Daryl, hi!" she said warmly. "How are you feeling tonight?"_

_He stood there, part surprised, part awkward, and due to the drinks he already had at that point, part amused._

_"Uhh… have we… met?" he laughed a bit._

_"Us? Oh, no, I don't recall so. Why don't you take a seat?"_

_He sat opposite her, not trying to hide how baffled he was by all of this. "How do you know…"_

_"Look, Daryl, I'd really like to help you win this bet"_

_Daryl stood there, utterly confused, wondering if he had really heard that right. "What are you talking about?"_

_"Don't worry, it's alright. We can just split the cash"_

_"Cash? What cash?"_

_"The money you bet with your friends that you'd pick me up"_

_He would have felt like the king of Awkwardnessland, if he wasn't busy looking at her like she was an alien. Once the shock passed and the realization that she knew came, then he did feel like an idiot._

_"But, you see, Daryl…" she continued "I want half"_

_"Half the money?"_

_"Yes"_

_Everything sounded so polite when she spoke the word. He started thinking clearly, realizing this was actually… kind of fun. He might had no idea how exactly she knew all that, but he really wanted to find out. One thing was for sure: he was finding her wit -and her beautiful voice- quite charming as well._

_"You know, I can just lose the bet"_

_"Why would you do that? In my way, you're still winning. You'll have two hundred dollars you didn't have until now. Don't be greedy. And after all, Daryl, you don't have that much money to spare right now"_

_This was the moment when she left him completely speechless, literally looking at her with his mouth hanging open._

_"What… when… how the hell do you know all that?"_

_She just smiled politely and didn't comment on that._

_"So, here's what I'm thinking" she comfortably announced. "We already talk. In a short while, you can go back to them and get the money, while I'm picking up my stuff. We leave together, you give me my half, and each goes on their way. How's that?"_

_"Sounds good. Only I have two terms"_

_"I don't think you're in that position, but speak up"_

_"First of all, after we're done and you get your money, you let me redeem myself and buy you a drink somewhere else with my money. You know, without those assholes looking at us, waiting"_

_He didn't expect that, but this brought on her lips a smile she tried to hide -and failed- and a blush on her cheeks that he thought was adorable._

_"We'll see" she said "And the second?"_

_"You tell me your name"_

_She must have realized right on that point that she hadn't done that earlier._

_"Oh, it's… Cynthia Wilkes"_

_"Wow" he raised an eyebrow. "See, that's quite a coincidence, since that's also written on the waitress's name tag"_

_Now she was the one looking surprised, clearly not expecting from him to have noticed such a detail. She took a deep breath, and now she let the smile come on her face naturally._

_"Joy"_


	5. Warm Rum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Negan!!!

 

* * *

[*]

Negan was slowly walking in the room, circling the table around they were all seated at, holding Lucille behind his back. They were all right there: Simon, Dwight, Regina, Gavin and Eugene. All listening to Dave, the poor guy of Joy's outpost that had been chosen to get to the Sanctuary and give their report on what exactly had happened, to the best of their knowledge.

Dwight almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"… and she was about to come back by the next morning, but she didn't, so we… we…"

The guy stopped talking and gulped, looking as if he was ready to pass out in fear. Negan had stopped right behind him, where he could no longer see him. He could see Lucille though, since he was swinging the bat around in the air.

"Go on, Davey" he purred. "Why did you stop? Something making you uncomfortable?"

The guy looked at them desperately, looking for any kind of confirmation that everything was going to be alright. He didn't get it.

"We, uh… sent a group on the outpost she had been, and we found the rest of her people, all dead, shot in the heads… there was no sign of Joy, or…"

Negan started walking again, until he was back on his chair on the head of the table, eyes constantly fixed on poor, poor Davey.

"… or an… an indication that… that she might have been harmed" he managed to conclude.

Negan kept looking at him sharply, face dangerously calm and wooden. Eugene looked serious as usual, and Simon seemed like he was having fun with the whole thing. After a while, he put his feet on the table and waved his hand towards David.

"Gavin, get this guy out of here before he pisses himself in one of our chairs. Give him a cookie or something"

Dwight couldn't tell when was the last time he'd seen a person this relieved. The kid hurried getting himself away, in case something happened and Negan changed his mind. Gavin followed him, kind of annoyed he wouldn't be present to the rest of the conversation, despite the fact it would be, without a doubt, intense.

"Are you sure she was unharmed when you saw her?" Negan once they had left the room.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I mean she… might have gotten a hit. She was pressing on her side, and looked kind of… weary, but nothing more than that"

"Weary, is it" he nodded narrowing his eyes.

Dwight just raised his shoulders, not sure what else he could say -or if he should anyway.

"Send a small, not-heavily-armed crew to Alexandria to negotiate a trade; her for the priest. They'll need someone to speak it through. Find someone tough and of few words, but expendable. You choose whom"

"I can do it if you want" he volunteered.

"Good spirit appreciated, Dwighty" he said with a slight tone of irony "but that won't do"

He had already figured the way he was thinking. It was probably the first time he saw Negan dealing with an actual dilemma. This one person was important enough to him to call a council for, and spend time, resources and even a valuable prisoner on such a case, in a time of war. On the other hand, this was, no doubt, a weakness, and it was bound to be revealed. Nevertheless, he wouldn't go there himself, and he didn't want to send any of his second-in-command people either, since this would show them exactly how important this was. How huge was the card they had their hands on.

For the first time, something he truly valued was at risk.

"If I may interfere" Eugene dared to speak "I have no knowledge of the person they have captured, of course, but what I can positively say with certainty is that although Rick is, at all fairness, not the smartest person I have met, he does possess the basic level of intelligence needed to appreciate the situation, and the value of this person. Logically speaking, something unknown to us must have occurred, since he bothered to keep this particular person alive. Hence, I believe he is keeping this person alive in hopes of eliciting information about anything related to our outposts, and certainly about you personally as well"

"No shit, Doctor Geek. Your point being?"

"My suggestion would be to rethink this trade, which Rick is unlikely to accept anyway, weighting the value of this person again, once the unnerving part is gone…"

"Oh, I'm calm alright" he smirked, pinching Lucille's barbed wire.

He said it as If he truly meant it, but he convinced no one. They had seen him like that a million times: smiling on the outside, but boiling on the inside. This was the great stillness that reigns before the hurricane strikes.

He stood up, gently placing Lucille on his shoulder.

"Let me make this quite simple; I… want her… back. So she… comes back. One way or another. And when I say back, I mean here. No more in a random secluded outpost, not at least while this shit is still going. That's the non-negotiable part. If Rick accepts this trade… so be it. We'll keep going in the same direction. If he doesn't… this becomes your first and last priority. I want this thing imprinted on your brains, unless you want to see them spilled on the floor. You think of a way that she comes back. You think of that all the time, when you wake up, when you have breakfast, when you're taking a shit, before you go to sleep, hell, even when you're sleeping, I want you to dream about one thing: how-does-Joy-comes-back. And whoever finds a way, a solid way… well… let's say that this one goes a whoooooole lot of higher on every single level"

Regina straightened her back and Simon's eyes sparkled wildly. This guy was cunning like a fox and outrageously ambitious. Dwight trusted him even less than Negan. At least he had some codes one could read, had they known him for a while.

"Dismissed" he ordered. "And make sure you guys work extra hard for this. With all this drought out there, Lucille's getting reeeeeeeally thirsty these days"

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

That heat was unbearable.

Joy had always categorically favored hot weather over cold, but times like these made her seriously doubting. Sure, it would be awesome if she was lying on a beach or if she was in a comfortable room, the kind they were probably never about to find again in this world, with air conditioning… but definitely not like this. It was that kind of maddening, dry heat that made it hard to breathe, especially on that cell-like room, which was even worse than the slightly cooler storage room she was kept in Kingdom, with just a small window with bars, facing the back of another building. The water on the bottle she was given had gone as hot as tea within an hour. She felt as if she was feverish the entire time. She couldn't sit, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't even think.

They had arrived in Alexandria that morning. At least she got to feel a small touch of wind while on the way. It seemed like many hours had passed ever since, but she couldn't tell for sure. She had of course inspected every inch of the cell during that time. Nothing. Not even a crack of hope in there. Not a chance to escape, not even one small thing to be used as a weapon.

She hated this. She hated the feeling of being imprisoned, completely in somebody else's mercy. It suffocated her in a way much worse than the heat. She was moving back and forth, like a wild animal trapped in a cage. She eventually felt dizziness, and sedated as she suddenly was, she took a seat. She would give up anything just for a cold shower (and she normally never took cold showers), or at least for some icy-chilled water.

She closed her eyes and tried to think of a pleasant time in a pleasant place, of cool breezes and that fresh, earthy smell after the first clear drops of a rainstorm hit the soil on the ground… of a beautiful, springtime night during an outdoor festival, a fairground, full of color, and music, and laughter… when the air was almost sweet, and her cheeks all blushed in pink, and that fascinating warmth was spreading inside of her over that sweet anticipation, and he, he was sweet too, so sweet, and she was dancing in his arms, intoxicated by that rum, and that night, and him… him…

She jumped up with a sudden jolt, instantly opening her eyes wide, exhaling, annoyed by her own mind that was playing her. Of all beautiful nights, it chose to present her with one of those she didn't want to think about. It wasn't that weird though. It was because  _he_  was around. How could she not be thinking about back then? Especially after the talk they had the previous night.

She had been trying to keep herself cold and calm to all of them, and especially to him, and she believed she was doing well so far, but that wasn't the actual case. 'Upset' was a mild word to describe the shock she felt once she had led eyes on him again in the outpost. The chances of meeting someone you used to know were already less than one in a million, let alone someone that had affected your entire life in so many ways, on so many levels.

Yeah, she tried to play it cool. But god knew, there were moments that she was actually questioning herself if all this was real, or if she had died and hadn't realize yet. Was that the case? Could she be a flesh-eating walking corpse now, and her soul had passed to the other side -if, of course, there was another side?

Great. Now she had headache as well.

Many people used to alert her that she sometimes overanalyzed things… including him… on that entrancing night, in that spring-time festival….

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_April 22, 2010_ **

**_Sunny Hill_ **

 

 

_"Do you always overanalyze things that much?"_

_"Well let's not overanalyze that, 'cause I might as well realize exactly what I'm doing and regret it"_

_The annual County Fair of Sunny Hill, the small town Daryl was living in, up in the mountain, just an hour away from Atlanta. The evening sky above was painted violet and dark pink, as people of all ages vividly wandered around. Music and joyous voices caught the ear, as the wonderful smells of cotton candy, popcorn, waffles with chocolate and roasted sausages reigned everywhere around, filling their nostrils._

_"Regret what? The place? You chose it"_

_"I love the place. I was talking about the date" she smiled._

_"Well… we'll see" he smiled back, walking by her._

_This was the second date, actually. Third, if she counted the drink they had when they first met, after they left the pub and Daryl's company behind. She was the one usually starting the chat. She had already figured he was more of a quiet type. However, once they got into a subject he was into, he could actually be quite talkative, and he seemed eager to hear things about her as well._

_Truth was, she felt absolutely, pleasantly surprised. She tried not to show, but it was getting harder and harder each time she saw him. She was enthralled by him. As their time together flowed, she was slowly realizing he wasn't the jerk she had in mind when they first met. When he was with her, he was always polite, yet he never failed to show her how much he liked her. And he had never made an aggressive move, though she could easily tell he wasn't normally the type of guy that gave it so much time._

_A glance over a shooting gallery got her out of her thoughts. She wasn't able to hold back a small, spontaneous exclamation, as one of the prizes got her eye; a stuffed toy._

_"Y' like tigers?" Daryl asked, catching the direction she was looking at._

_"Oh, well, I ahh… yeah, I love them" she admitted. "Anyway, how about we go to…"_

_"C'm on, let's get it" he announced taking her hand._

_"What? No, Daryl, seriously…"_

_"Ah, c'me on, I'm actually doing it for myself. You've never come see me hunting yet. Let me show off a little"_

_She laughed, gave up and followed him, half-amused, half-awkward._

_"Ok then. Let's see those legendary shooting skills of yours"._

_Once they reached there, the boldly dressed, middle-aged woman behind the counter took her cigarette out of her mouth and smiled, showing off yellow teeth. A teenage boy and his highly disappointed younger sister were just leaving, empty-handed._

_"Two dollars, ten shots, sugah. You take down two, you get keychain. Five's a small stuffed. Ten out of ten, the bigger ones"_

_Daryl paid her and took the gun without saying a word._

_The shots were so fast and accurate on the cans that made her jaw drop. And when he turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow, she felt burning inside -in a whole lot of places, actually._

_"Wow" said the woman behind the counter looking at her. "You're a lucky lady, dear! Which one you want, hon?"_

_"The tiger, over the-"_

_"No" Joy interrupted him. "Wait a second…"_

_Her eyes were fixed upon the children they saw leaving before them. The sweet little girl looked like the saddest creature in the world as her older brother tried to cheer her up._

_"Which one did the little girl want?" she asked the woman._

_"Oh, the pink teddy-bear up there"_

_"We'll get that one"_

_A minute later, the face of that little girl, whose name was apparently Faye, went as bright as the sun when she gave her the teddy-bear. Her brother, Jack, thanked them many times, and as she and Fate joyfully looked for a name for her new toy, Daryl gave him tips on how to shoot right and effectively next time. Once the bear got her new fitting name -Rosie-, the kids left to meet their parents. She watched them leaving, and when she turned to Daryl, he caught him looking at her in a way that made her melt, rendering her unable to do anything else but smile._

_"C'me on, I'll get you the tiger as well" he said._

_"Nah, it's alright… let's go see if they've started serving that famous rum I've heard about!"_

_Sunny Hill's rum was famous in the entire state of Georgia. A drink strong and spicy, just like the people of the town. After the ageing, it was traditionally served warm, after it was boiled with spices in huge cauldrons._

_They managed to be between the first ones that got some. Joy knew both good spirits and especially good wines, due to her grandfather's job, who was the manager of a wine factory. A good drink always kicks in since the first glass, leaving no need for second. And that was a really, really good drink._

_Time went by faster than the usual, as it often happens when you don't want something to end, as they talked and laughed. They ended up slowly dancing around among other couples, under the sounds of some blues, closer to each other than they had ever been before. Intoxicated by the rum, and the night, and most of all, by one another. Eyes closed, devouring every magical detail. Not talking. Just feeling. The night breeze flowing around them. The sweet warmth of the alcohol spreading inside._

_In one of those moments, she raised her eyes on his own, on that pair of blue, burning flames, and for the first time in her life, she felt absolutely certain about what she wanted. Absolutely certain that this was the man she'd been looking for, as his arms tightened around her, and that first, bold, daring deep kiss sent her to heaven…_  

 

* * *

 

She jumped up shaken, her eyes opening wide. She had reached on the verge of falling asleep as the memories flew.

The thing was that suddenly, as it usually happens, she might have had an idea on how she could, perhaps, get out of there.

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a moment to review! I really want to know what you guys think! Thanks in advance!


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